Doing vs Being: Start Here
Heard the phrase “less doing, more being”?
[If you’ve been here with the Technically Spiritual community for any amount of time, you probably have!]
This phrase encourages us to become mindful of how we spend our time and energy: how often are we “doing doing doing” versus how often we make space to simply “be.”
While doing looks a lot like to-do lists, obligations, and responsibilities… being looks like meditating, allowing ourselves to get bored, or something else that calms the fluctuations of the mind (yoga, sitting in silence, walking, grounding or presence practices).
This way of living - of regularly finding presence and stillness - has a profound impact on our lives not just in the moment, but long-term. It can help us:
better manage our emotions
communicate more mindfully
find more gratitude
operate with more purpose
work with more focus
be in tune with our energy (preventing burnout!)
But, I know it’s not so easy to just adopt this new mindset. As I’ve written about before, habits stick when we build in non-judgment and flexibility.
So here’s one way to start small– to orient to the habit of doing less, and being more, to learn what doing less actually looks like, and where to begin.
1. Make a big list of the things that are regularly on your mind.
Include anything and everything - the wants and the needs, the “have to” and the “should do”, the fun stuff, the most stressful stuff, everything you can remember. Don’t worry, you can always add or edit later.
2. Start categorizing into essentials and nonessentials.
Another way to think about this is “urgent” vs “important” vs “less important.”
3. Take note of where you placed activities that contribute to your rest, fun, or wellbeing, especially those that focus on being instead of doing.
Add them if they’re not there. These might be “fun” tasks, like reading or a self-care night or hanging with friends, as well as less-fun tasks that nonetheless contribute to your wellbeing, like if doing the dishes or showering removes stress and makes you more clear-headed.
4. For any wellbeing tasks that you deemed non-essential, take some time to move some or all over to “essential” based on how much that task would ease your mind.
You deserve to prioritize your wellbeing.
5. Set a goal to SAY NO to some of your latest list of nonessentials.
This might mean asking for help from your family so you can be in charge of dinner less often, or practicing boundaries with work so you no longer answer emails after 4pm or on weekends.
6. Check in with your list (and yourself) a week later.
Were you able to say No to anything that you’d normally pile onto your plate? Why or why not? What would help you continue to make healthy decisions for yourself?
7. Bonus challenge:
Take a look at your entire list of everything not under the wellbeing category. Even if you have 50 tasks, challenge yourself to cross out all but 10. Then, get down to business and cross off all but 3. These 3 things are your top 3 essentials on any given day. Allow your mind to only have to keep track of these 3, and rely on your list for when those are done! You don’t need to hold all of it all the time.
Now take a look at your entire list of wellbeing practices. As inspired by The ONE Thing by Gary Keller: “What is the ONE thing that makes everything else easier or unnecessary?” This is the one task or intention you prioritize every day even if you don’t have time for anything else.
You deserve to do less, to be more, and to prioritize your wellbeing. You deserve to work on this new habit that has a positive ripple effect on every other aspect of your life. You deserve to take a candid look at everything on your plate, and start making decisions that allow you to do less and be more.