We Must Recognize Our Needs in Order to Meet Them - How To

Whether or not you remember Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs from school – humans have UNIVERSAL identical needs (both for survival and contentment).

What hasn’t been revisited since the technology boom of the last century (and the social tech boom of the last few decades) is how we address those universal needs in a digital age.

Or in a capitalist age.

Or in an age where productivity/output/doing is prioritized over wellness/being.

Here’s the snapshot (this is a partial list because it does not reference in what manner, how often, or how it works with others and various relationships):

In a recent Mindful Communication class I taught for a team in NYC, multiple people asked for this list after a presentation, along with the question –

“How do I know what’s a need?”

A need versus a want.

A need versus an impulse.

A need versus a false belief.

Here are two rules of thumb so you can begin recognizing and meeting your true needs:

1. If you have to buy it, it’s not a need.

Yes, this goes for wellbeing products too. You don’t NEED a meditation pillow to meditate. You don’t need a luxury bath set to practice self care.

2. If you can’t draw from within to create it, it’s not a need.

We all have an internal ability to meet our own needs, or meet each other’s needs in community. Rest. Contentment. Empowerment. Self knowledge. Purpose. Mourning. Kindness. Play.

Aside from some physical needs that in our capitalist world require purchase (like shelter, food), you can rely on these two rules of thumb to check in with yourself when you feel like a need is unmet.

Because in actuality, you and the community you surround yourself with already have the power to meet these needs, alone or together, without needing to buy anything or look elsewhere.

The reason this doesn’t feel true is because, in capitalism, everything valuable is commodified. All the way down to your attention and feelings.

In actuality, when we use mindfulness and come back to presence with ourselves and with our unique communities, we come to the realization that we can meet our own needs. We have an inner source of power and wisdom that is always accessible to us if we practice reaching for it.

That contentment, expression, routine, connection, play, everything that we truly need, is accessible to us.

The trick is making a habit of meeting our own needs within a system that forces commodification of those basic ones (water, food, shelter). This habit comes only with practice.

Practice tuning inward, practice getting to know yourself and recognizing needs when they arise, and practice meeting them (all on our own, or with community support).