Why I Quit Instagram…
August 28th, 2020
I quit Instagram.
On August 1st, 2020 I took the plunge and made the decision to take a break from Instagram for a minimum of one year.
I’ve been researching the impact of technology on human psychology for years; the ubiquitous findings are that social media is just not good for us.
I made it a point to become more aware of my own experience while using Instagram and to look at its after-effects as well. The more I paid attention, the more I realized how its all-pervasive nature was taking over my mind and my life.
I’ve taken a break from Instagram for a few days, a week, or even a month in the past. I’ve come back and felt less attached to it for a while, but ultimately, I get sucked back in as time progresses. I decided one year needs to be the minimum time for a full detoxification, to truly gain control of my life, and make an informed decision about whether or not I want to return to it.
Now the biggest question—why? Here are 5 reasons I’m personally taking on this experiment:
1. To protect my attention. William James said, “my experience is what I agree to attend to.” As a meditator, I’m aware that our attention is everything. Our minds are the only tool we have, and our attention is in the driver’s seat of the direction our lives take.
I spent a lot of time on Instagram – both actually being on the platform and thinking about posts I had posted or seen. I realized that so much of my day was going towards this content that I wasn’t leaving enough time for me to pay attention to the things that really mattered to me.
The nature of the quick hits of images and content actually made my attention span shorter. My body and mind got so used to the dopamine I would receive from all the newness, that when I sat down to do something relatively mundane or that would require a lot of concentration it was much harder for me and would take me much longer to complete.
To be able to concentrate on the things in life that are important is essential to living a fulfilling and happy life. Instagram thrives on keeping me on it for as long as possible. Each time I fought it to regain control of my attention, I felt myself getting weaker mentally – it was breaking me down. I decided it was better to stop playing the game.
2. To stop supporting brands with unethical business models. In order for social media companies to make money, they require my eyeballs on them. That means, they have thousands of people working to figure out how best to get to know me and how to manipulate my mind in such a way that I’ll stay on for longer. Outwardly, they say they exist to promote connection, but in reality, if I am truly connected to others and the world around me, I’m not looking down at my phone scrolling, which is what they are always trying to get me to do.
The other component of their business model that frightens me is their acquisition of my data. Facebook, who owns Instagram, takes an exorbitant amount of my information in order to more personally manipulate and target me to purchase new products or services that in turn makes them money. Not only do they keep the data for themselves, but they sell my data to others who want to manipulate me as well. It’s ‘free’ to use, but I’m the product. I’m giving up my personal information to companies who do not have any incentive to protect me. Ultimately, the business model is not centered around trust and ethics, rather it is about monetization and manipulation of my attention and data.
3. To regain my sense of self. Yuval Harari says, “you must know yourself better than technology companies know you”. Whether it was my trying to illustrate depth through a frozen moment and actually losing that moment myself or fighting algorithms to be seen, I would so easily get lost in the manipulation of Instagram showing me who it thought I was verses me identifying that for myself.
I’ve tried my hardest to be as authentic and real as possible on Instagram. But there was always a part of me that felt that whenever I posted, I was losing myself a little bit. When I was at a concert or having a beautiful meal or spending time with my dog and I took a photo to post on Instagram, I actually lost the moment. I stopped being present and I started worrying about how to capture it in such a way that people may think that what I was doing or experiencing was interesting or cool.
I understand the significance of taking a photo to capture a moment and the joy that can come from having those photos as memories to look back on. I’m not anti-photography. There is just something toxic about Instagram that somehow sucks the blood out of the moment because it’s going to be put on display. The photos and memories weren’t just for me, my life was becoming a museum that others could walk into at any point.
4. To stop being watched. Being watched by Instagram (and most technology companies) has many layers. As mentioned, Instagram needs to watch me closely to be able to make money. The platform tracks everything from who I follow to what posts I like to what time I use it amongst many other things. Even when I’m not using the app, my data is shared between all of the big tech companies. Instagram literally knows where I go, what I buy, what I read, what I talk about, and so much more. It’s downright creepy.
Just the thought of a major corporation knowing that much about me doesn’t make me feel good, but then to make it worse they then take all of this data and create personalized ads to manipulate me into buying something to ultimately make them money. They know exactly when I’m feeling vulnerable and susceptible to making a purchase and they have the ability to show me exactly what I think I need at exactly the right moment. At this point, it’s not about self-control or willpower— when thousands of employees are working to track and analyze my data it’s a losing battle, unless I step out of the field entirely.
The other component of surveillance is being watched by other people. One of the biggest causes of stress in our digital age is the feeling that we need to be available all of the time. While the phone as a whole is the culprit, Instagram is a microcosm of this. On some level, posting and even being on Instagram felt like everyone was watching me. That ‘active’ next to my name invited everyone into my space, when I didn’t always feel ready to let people in. Instagram makes everyone feel like a mini celebrity, the attention feels great at first, but then the paparazzi starts tracking your every move. The weird part is that it was actually me volunteering to share yet I still felt those unpleasant feelings of being watched from every angle.
5. To live in the real world. Especially during this unstable time where we are inside a whole lot more, it’s been so easy to get sucked into our screens. My screen time has gone up significantly and I found myself on Instagram every moment I was not doing something else. If I was something was loading, I was on. If I was in the bathroom, I was on. If I was waiting for the elevator, I was on. I wasn’t giving myself any time and space to just be in the in between moments of life, which is generally where inspiration strikes. I kept shoving myself into this alternate reality of the platform and I felt emptier and more hollow as time progressed.
Even absorbing what others are posting only felt half real. In taking in content I was aware that what was being shared was not the whole picture of someone’s life. I was comparing my whole, messy life to someone’s top 10% of their ‘best life’ and it was starting to make me feel like less of a person. Rather than ‘connecting’ with someone on Instagram, I’d rather speak to them on the phone, or Zoom, or of course (if it’s safe) in person. I want to look at people’s eyes and hear the tone of their voice and appreciate the complexity of communication.
Furthermore, Facebook and Instagram have become a breeding ground for fake accounts and the spreading of misinformation. It’s hard to know what’s real and what’s fake. Things will get extremely dangerous when people stop believing everything entirely - fake or real because we’ll never be able to communicate and make change on a mass scale if no one believes anyone or anything.
Particularly because algorithms run the show, what’s being promoted is often the most extreme content (because that’s what retains eyeballs), which is usually quite far from the truth. Even as a student and educator who vets my sources – seeing misleading posts and headlines messes with my own sense of reality and makes me question my own inner voice. Why should I subject myself to being manipulated and tricked into thinking this virtual reality is real, when I can actually live an authentic life outside of social media?
Ultimately, using Instagram started to make me feel like I was in a cage, under surveillance, being fed hits of dopamine. It started to change the ways in which I saw and interacted with the real world. It’s difficult to feel in control of one’s life, especially in 2020. Giving up Instagram for a year is one tangible way I’ll be able to at least take control of my attention. By taking myself out of the social validation feedback loop I hope to be able to connect more authentically to myself and to others. I ultimately hope that with enough pressure from users and hopefully our government, that social media companies switch to an ethical business model that no longer manipulates our emotions, promote extreme content and fake accounts, demoralize our democracy, and neglect our privacy—until these issues are addressed I’m unsure that I will ever return to the platform…