Episode 03: Communication as a Spiritual Practice
Communication is the key channel through which we connect and develop relationships. In this episode, Prerna discusses how being deliberate about our daily communication can be a powerful spiritual practice that fosters compassion, presence, and awakening. She offers tools to approach speaking, listening, and digital communication through the lens of Buddhist philosophy.
Listen on Apple Podcasts
Listen on Spotify
Show Notes
Speaking:
Right speech is one of the 8 factors on the noble 8-fold path, so it should be in the service of awakening.
When speaking first ask yourself:
Is it true? we can say that which is true and also cause harm, so we have to use our discretion. Understand the complexity and always speak from a good heart.
Is it kind? Being kind can still mean you’re being powerful and direct – you can be connected to your heart and have an intention of care.
Is it useful? Instead of distracted, unintentional speech be deliberate – wandering speech can lead to burnout and energy depletion.
Is it timely? Asking – is now a good time for you? and having the patience to wait if someone says it’s not.
Is it conducive to concord? (Spoken with a heart of good will) Considering the purpose of why you are speaking…is it habitual? Is this in line with my deepest purpose in life? Is what I’m saying connecting in nature or dividing in nature. Ultimately if we’re using speech as a spiritual practice the goal is becoming whole and connected and opening our hearts to the mutual experience of all beings. Our speech should be aligned with this.
Reminder: This is not only about how we speak with others but also about how we speak to ourselves!
Listening:
"The biggest communication problem is we do not listen to understand. We listen to reply. When you talk, you are only repeating what you already know. But if you listen, you may learn something new." ~ Dalai Lama
A Mindful Listener:
• Is attentive
• Listens to understand the intended meaning
• Remains quiet while listening (listen and silent have the same letters)
• Responds rather than reacts
• Doesn’t argue mentally while the speaker is talking.
• Avoids judgments.
• Responds honestly and considerately.
• Listens with eyes and body as well as ears
It’s okay to say you don’t have time if you can’t be present, but when you are engaging it is your responsibility to be present.
Electronic Communication:
Before you press send, be mindful of the following*:
• Will my message be read, seen or perceived in the way I intend?
• Does this message present my authentic self?
• Could this message hurt others?
• Do I trust the people to whom I’m sending? Could a screenshot change my opinion about sending?
• Would I feel proud of this message if my colleague, boss, mentor, parent, partner, or child read it?
*From NJASC's Leadership Training Manual
Attention fact: Informatics expert Gloria Mark has been studying attention, particularly in the space of human-computer interaction. In 2004 in a study she ran, she found that people could pay attention before they switched tasks for about three minutes. In 2016 the median length to pay attention to a screen before switching was about 40 seconds.
Ultimately
Paying attention to communication gives an insight into the way the mind works and some of the causes of suffering – it gives us a direct experience of our reactions and enables us to make choices that foster peace.
Communication is an extremely accessible spiritual practice in and of itself, because we’re always doing it! Just like any other spiritual practice it’s never going to be perfect. We will make mistakes and forget along the way. The important thing is to have the intention to want to be a mindful communicator and use every opportunity as practice.
If you choose to raise your vibrations with how you communicate, you’ll raise the vibrations of those around you and you’ll be doing your part to raise the vibrations on our planet.